It’s been awhile.

So I almost died. A few times. But I am still here and stronger than ever! I was in a domestic violence situation and it was crucial and so dangerous that my friends and family swooped me out of California and back home to Minnesota.

I took a period of three years to get to know D. He told me to come out and he would be my caregiver and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Too good to be true usually is. The first few months were great until he found he could easily provoke me to dissociate by not respecting my boundary of being screamed at, especially right in my face, as he was very prone to do.

It quickly escalated and I was stuck with he, a narcissist and his mother, also a narcissist. She even tried to kill me on December 31. So. Yeah I had to go because at the end, I was under so much stress and so worried about what would happen to me that I couldn’t stop vomiting for over a week and ended up in the hospital a few times totalling almost two weeks due to that and my Long QT acting up BIG time.

The last many months, even in the hospital I would wake up drenched in sweat yet freezing cold. Apparently my heart was going to 30 beats per minute or less. They kept waking me up in the hospital because they noticed this on the heart monitor. It ends up I will require long term monitoring of my heart and also very likely a defibrillator. At 41. 🙈

My last hospital stay ended with me being locked out of my own home and thrown on the streets. Thankfully I was taken in by a Christian shelter and harbored there until my flight to Minnesota. I gotta say I met some cool people there and I really miss my nicknames “Minnesota” and “Rollers.” ☺️

I made it back home safe and most importantly, alive! I’m doing well and working on both healing and establishing myself as I was unfortunately made to be dependent completely on my abusive ex. Never again y’all!

2 thoughts on “It’s been awhile.

  1. Take care of yourself, and I’m glad that you recognised the signs of a narcissist. They only care about their own needs and demand all of your attention, but will never give anything in return.

    Liked by 1 person

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